Blogging with Barbara

Here I am

2007-05-29T11:34:00.000-06:00

Here I am still at the hospital bloggin from bed. I can't believe I have been here for a week already. I am still very much full of tumors but fever has been normal for days. They have quit worrying about the bowel movement and just want to keep everything moving down around there. I hope this is not to graphic for all of you but just want to keep everyone informed.

Mentally I am up this hour. I am trying to keep every thing natural as in moving around, walking more, drinking "ensure". Joseph has left the hospital to ge get some bay leaves and grape juice.

Can't Sleep

2007-05-18T22:07:00.000-06:00

Joseph and I went out to dinner and getting old and senile at the same time I ordered flavored tea. Forgetting that me drinking tea late is like coffee so here I am not able to sleep, so I'll blog. I called the doctor for my CA125 marker numbers. They were terrible. Again a record high. 271. I cried. I just need prayers to be going up for me to take the right direction. I don't know which way to go. I will be talking to the CTCA in Zion on Monday. I don't know if I will wait until two weeks without doing anything. I also want to talk to them about doing surgery. I would rather get it done at the beginning of summer and be healed by the end, and if I had it soon, I should be okay for the wedding. So just pray that I stay in the Lord's will for all this, that He continues to lead me and direct me. I would love for Him to send me an itinerary that is a little more in depth than He has giving us, but I will continue to do as I feel He is directing me.

Home Again

2007-05-17T06:05:00.000-06:00

Still feeling lousy. I came home yesterday before lunch and called in today. My stepfather was put into the hospital last night. They said he has severe anemia. They gave him three pints of blood last night. I will try to get by there to see if and I also have to go get my blood work done today. So everyone have a great day.

God is good, all the time.

Jason's Nose

2007-05-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

Was on first base, someone hit him, missed ball, jumped from glove to nose. That's the story I heard.

Saturday Expecting Jason

2007-05-12T10:56:00.000-06:00

I am excited. I have been up for over 4 hours and waiting for the time that Jason comes in. I have not seen him since he broke his nose. I am waiting to see how he looks. They (the doctor) is suppose to break it on Tuesday and fix it. Hopefully all will be well for the wedding pics. :-) Joseph is here and fixing me lunch. My sister came over and brought donuts, then called Jody and her crew come over. So now you can see why I have been up for so long. Pray for strength saints.

Love you all bunches

I work with Awesome People

2007-05-09T13:47:00.000-06:00

I am home, It is after 2. My boss sent me home and told me to take my medicine. He said I was P------ him off. He didn't give me those days to waste He wants me to take them and get well, go home and call in for the next few days. I said okay. I have been soooooo sick, never has a chemo kicked me down so bad, but the good news is it must be kicking the cancer that bad also.

I have had someone offered and doing my lesson plans for the remainder of the year. I have dinner coming over tonight. I came home during my planning period and took a catnap and our secretary gave me a wake up call. I just work with such caring people. Pray a prayer of blessing on my Alamo family. We are a very close staff.

Love everyone else in my life also. I don't know how anyone could go through all this without the Lord first and then a very supportive group of people. I have family, church family and work family. I have friends also but they are all so tremendous they seem more like family.

Sorry for my bosses use of language it was in the office with the door closed so no children at least heard him. He usually watches his language very well. He is the best boss.

Trying to go to Work

2007-05-09T05:53:00.000-06:00

Well, I am up and trying to put in a day's work. I got up Monday and went in and came home within a few hours. I didn't even try yesterday. This new chemo pill is really hard to take. I am having a very hard time not feeling nausea even with all the pills they have given me. I just want to stay in bed and sleep and sleep. Well I am going to try and take the pills starting after school and during the night. Maybe that way I can stay well enough to go to work. There are only 13 more days left of school. I really would like to be able to function normally today. So if you are reading this just please say a little prayer for me to be feeling well and be able to do my job.

Thanks

The Blessings of God

2007-05-06T16:22:00.000-06:00

Joe's Father was baptised in Jesus Name today. I know if Joe has any idea of what is going on in this earth below he is rejoicing that his father, who has held out for thirty years, finally was baptised in Jesus' Name. I know those of us who are still here are so excited.

Then Raelinn prayed and prayed and almost received the holy ghost. She would have if she didn't keep getting scared every time she was feeling the feeling of speaking in tongues.

God is so good. I am excited about what God is doing in the midst of my family. Praise Ye the Lord Everyone.

Topotecan

2007-05-05T08:20:00.000-06:00

Sounds like a tropical drink. Just picture yourself sitting in a chaise lounge on a Bahamian island, feeling the breeze from the ocean on your face, beautiful soft teal water, glistening in the sun. And you are sipping on some exotic drink, doesn’t have to have liquor in it, just has to have the coconut, fruit, ice and umbrella sticking out. Oh how relaxing.

Now for the truth. You are being infused through the shoulder area with drugs. Drugs that will make you sick and ultimately, hopefully make you well. Why would they make a chemo drug sound so exotic?

Just my cancer thought for the day!

New Chemo is really Old

2007-05-03T14:36:00.000-06:00

Well, just came back from the doctors and found out the chemo pills I am on are really the older pills they use to use to fight ovarian cancer. They are making me so sick. I don't know if this is good or not. It seems the sicker I am when on chemo the more it does against the cancer. The better I feel the less it seems to be working. So I guess I just need to hang in there for a few weeks until I have a few weeks off. Again the doctor here was not very encouraging. He said it was just a last chance effort from the doctor up there and it was just like flipping a coin as to what may work and may not. I get depressed enough without him making me feeling worse. Oh well, thanks for all your prayers, don't even want to think of where I would be without them.

Our Chicago Trip

2007-04-29T16:44:00.000-06:00

Since we are home I thought I would share where we went. We took off a few times and went to downtown Chicago. We went to the Sears tower one day and then we came back a different day. On that day we went to the aquarium and the museum. We had a great time.

We went bowling with my niece and her kids in Wisconsin and then we went home with her on Friday. We went to a pot luck at her church and then she took us to the airport. We had a good time considering what we were up there for.

The people at CTCA were very positive and that was good. We met some people from other places. Say a prayer for the Shepard brothers. One of them was not given much hope and it looks bad. We talked with one of them a lot and talked about church and all.

In my flickr you can see some of the pics I took. I was trying to do a slide show but don't have that working yet. Will try again later or tomorrow.

We're Home

2007-04-28T21:10:00.000-06:00

It is always so nice to be home after being away for a few days. David bought balloons and made a little sign to welcome me home. (I guess Grandpa is meaner than Mama) Joe J and I are both so glad to be home. The doctor has given me a new kind of chemo pill. It is suppose to be strong and she gave me some anti nausea drugs to go with them. I will take them for two weeks and go back to Chicago in a month. If this seems to be working than I will get a two month supply. If all works out in a timely fashion than maybe I will be ready for surgery after Jason's wedding.

I had a doctor for the first time in my life tell me to quit losing weight. She said after we get rid of the disease than we can worry about the weight. As you can notice the outlook is so totally different than the two oncologists I have been seeing. She is so much more positive. That is the way I want to be. God is still in control and His will be done in this life that was given to Him.

Just wanted everyone to know I am glad to be home. Will start the new drugs this Monday because the drug store had to order them.

The Ride is Scary

2007-04-25T09:29:00.000-06:00

Well I am plummeting down on my roller coaster ride. I was in to see the neropathic nutrition specialist, which is just some kind of doctor that talks about supplements and such. She had my blood work in front of her and so I asked her what my CA125 was. It has jumped from a 105 twenty days ago to 205, the highest it has ever been. That brought tears to my eyes immediately. I will see the doctor again tomorrow and then I will find out the plan of action. Pray for a Dr. Williams to make the right choices. I don't know if I will be able to be treated in Wichita Falls with chemo until I will be able to undergo surgery or not. I once again just need the will of the Lord in my life. He knows what is best and He knows the best path for me to take. I need Him to direct my path.

On a lighter side, we did get to go to the top of the Sears Tower yesterday. We saw the outside art gallery in downtown Chicago that is close to the water. At the top of the tower there is nothing but buildings as far as you could see. It is amazing. We saw the L Train but we didn't get out to ride it. To me it wasn't on my "must do" list while here. Joseph might disagree. It was pretty rusty and old looking.

After seeing the Doctor we should know our plans for Friday. As of today we will be heading home on Saturday.

Flying the Friendly Skies

2007-04-22T06:45:00.000-06:00

We flew out yesterday from our airport with a connection in Dallas to Chicago. The flight was a little rough. We flew first class from Dallas to Chicago which was a nice experience. We had warmed nuts, and a fresh warm chocolate chip cookie. Our drinks were served in glass instead of plastic. So we are here waiting for the appointed time.

"The Lord's Will be done" This is really an orientation and or evaluation to see if they will accept me in the trial. They have said that I am the kind of patient they are looking for, but I guess they need to see me in person. I talked with one lady who has been a friend for many, many years and she was confused as to the condition of my disease. So here it is....and this is just the doctors reports, not the Lord's.

The tumors have all progressed significantly. There are so many of them now and they have grown so much they are not measuring and numbering them like they did. I do have some they are worried about and that would be the one major one between the colon and the bladder. The doctor in Wichita told me that if any of the tumors block my colon or digestive system I will go downhill fast. This is when I told him I have a wedding to be a part of in July. He said he could not promise me anything.

MDAnderson had said all the chemos have been tried and the tumors are smarter and stronger from them. They suggested now trying a clinical trial. Something different. I have been on a chemo pill since then because I was thinking, along with the doctor, that if we go at them a different way we may surprise them, trick them, whatever. My CA125, the drastic ovarian cancer blood test, was up to 101 before starting the pill. Last month it went to 105. The doctor seems to be happy because he said this is stable. I, of course, want it to go down.

The blood test, from what I understand, measures the protein in your blood that this cancer produces. So if it is going down, they are shrinking. If it goes up they are growing and producing more protein. Staying the same makes me happier than going up, but of course going down makes me happier.

So now that more of you know more than you probably care to know, I will be "at rest" also until I get near a computer. The brochure from the CTCA shows they have an area on the fourth floor with computers and everything for the patients to use. They also have a website where you can post information on to your friends and family. Since I am here and just using the resources I guess I will not need to be "at rest". That is unless they get me so busy with tests and all that I can't get up here to the fourth floor again,.

Will miss you all, but I am hoping we will find time to enjoy the experience of going to Chicago. We are a lot further from Chicago than I thought we would be. It took about an hour and a half to get to the hotel from the airport. There was traffic problems some and that was on a Sunday night. I hate large city traffic.

Love Birds Arrived

2007-04-21T07:47:00.000-06:00

Jason and Julie came up last night to spend the day here. I am glad and waiting for Jason to get over here to fix breakfast. He always does when they come up. I guess since they got in a little later than usual he will be a little later this morning. They sent me the link to their engagement pictures. Since they are so busy with the wedding plans and just being in "love" I put a hyperlink. I keep checking to see if they have updated their page but not yet. Sooooo.......anyways, I am just really glad they came to see me and will enjoy the day with them.

Joseph and I will also be getting ready for our trip to CTCA. There is suppose to be a computer room and they even give you a page to keep others informed. I will blog about that after we get there and find out what it is all about.

Anybody been to Chicago and want to tell us something we just have to do, or some food that is the best in Chicago?

Spring has Sprung

2007-04-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

I was off today due to having my infusion of drugs. I picked up my brother who does lawns and we bought flowers for the garden. Someone, I won't mention names, sprayed the flower garden with Roundup to get rid of the weeds. I was upset because they thought they could get just the weeds and not the roots to the perennial flowers. Well guess who was right. Anyways, after purchasing a whole new flower supply my brother planted them. It is kind of hard to see right now but hopefully very soon it will look a lot fuller. Spring has sprung in my flower garden and I just love fresh flowers. I even had him pick a bouquet of Iris for the dining room table. Take some time to smell the flowers.

Hump Day

2007-04-18T06:03:00.000-06:00

It is Wednesday and some say teachers just wish their lives away. Waiting for that spring break and vacation time. But in the process is hump day. Wednesdays have pros and cons. It is the middle of the week so after Wednesday you only have two days left for the weekend. (Common knowledge) It is also staff meeting day. It is church day. (YES) It is also the day we get to go to the library in school. Today we will not be able to go because of TAKS. We will not have basic skills and TEAMS pull out programs. I am just thankful we still have our planning time and the kids go to PE.

So there is a run down of my day. Have a great one ya'll.

TAKS Day

2007-04-17T05:40:00.000-06:00

Today is the day for our kids to test. Please keep our Texas kids in your prayers today. I would say ex specially Alamo and Sheperd, but then we all have kids everywhere. For those of you not from Texas just say a prayer for our kids to do the best they know how. Too many kids are getting so scared they are not able to do their best. Therefore the test is invalid, but who can prove that to the state. Oh well, I won't ramble, I just wanted to remind everyone who doesn't have school age kids to say a prayer for those who have.

Thanks

His Temple

2007-04-15T16:39:00.000-06:00

Our bodies are the temple of God. He uses us to glorify Him, much as Moses’ staff was used. The staff was part of the job that Moses did before God called him to do something specific for Him. God used Moses’ staff to perform miracles. God has called me to use what I have to glorify him, right where He called me. I will have victory when I share the testimony with those I work with, the children I teach. I need to let others see my hope in Him, which my strength comes from the Lord. Any success I have in this fight against cancer comes from the Lord. Now is the time for the Lord to show all that “He is the one in control." It is time for the Lord to receive glory from this sickness. Let me proclaim in the schools the power of God and then sit back and watch His marvelous work take place in this body, His temple.

from Crosswalk.com today
Rejoice in the midst of your trials. James 1:12 tells us we can truly rejoice in the midst of trials. Why? Because the victories are already won! Our victories are in Jesus and He already won the victory. That's why you and I can claim the victory. Regardless of your circumstances, you already have the victory. The battle is won!

Busy, Busy Day

2007-04-14T06:13:00.000-06:00

It looks like it is going to be a busy day. Julie is having a personal shower hosted by her sister in Dallas. She (or Jason) wants me to come and meet her mother. I really want to meet them also, but I never know what to wear when I first meet someone. My mother always taught us how important first impressions were.

The boys are going to Oklahoma for the Hot Rod Show and Jake's Ribs. I hope they have a great time. David was saying it was going to be very hard since Dad really loved Hot Rods. I told him his Dad would want him to enjoy it, even without him.

I am hoping Kim won't mind hanging around stopping in Grapevine for dinner so we can meet Jason on his way home from work.

Brandon is hoping to get home in time to go to an ROTC event. I am leaving that in the hands of God because I am not sure he needs to go.

I hope everyone has a very blessed day. God is good and I have been feeling a lot better towards the end of this week. As Sis. Shahan said last night, she tells people to keep praying for her, we are storing them up as Sis. Freeman spoke of. It's not like God can't answer with just one request, but He keeps touching us over and over again. With each new problem, he has to reach down and touch us again. And He does, and we are very thankful. Once again, as always, thank you for all your prayers.

And I work with some of the greatest people in Wichita Falls. Not only do they care about the children we work with but they show love and concern for others. I have continually received cards in my mailbox. I have received flowers, either picked or bought numerous times. And they have giving to me financially to help out when they feel I may need it. They are very giving people. My prayer warrior friends, say a little prayer for God to bless the staff of Alamo.

Have a great weekend all.

Chemo Day

2007-04-12T05:59:00.000-06:00

My CA125 went up a few points last month, from 101 to 105. The doctor says since it flutuates a few points we will just continue the pills. Of course all this is just so that I am not sitting around until we go to CTCA later this month.

So I asked.....

2007-04-11T15:18:00.000-06:00

I told my teenager about the elementary students and then asked him so whose fault do you think it is. He answered, "The parents." I guess I am just not getting through. I asked why was it the parents. He said because they should have known where the children were. So I told him you could blame them for bad parenting skills but didn't the boys know what they did was wrong. Of course he had to agree they did, and then so whose fault is it. The kids. Well, here a little, there a little.

But oh how frustrating at times.

Parents at Fault, NO

2007-04-10T20:14:00.000-06:00

Boys not at fault in attack
A judge, however, refuses to free the suspects in the beating of a homeless man amid self-defense claims.

Can you believe that two elementary students and a 17 year old beat a homeless man and the parents are saying it was not their fault. So why is it okay for boys to beat this man so badly? I am so tired of children not taking responsibility for their actions. Of course, how can they when the parents give them excuses.

As some know I have had problems with one of my teenagers. I have prayed and prayed for him and asked the Lord how I can teach him. I believe the Lord gave me the answer to my prayers from the teenagers mouth. The child said, "I need help and you just don't know how to help me." Wow, when I heard him say that I said, "What?" How dare he put the blame for his behavior on me. It was as if my eyes were opened and I let him know that his father and I have given him everything he needs to be successful. We have taught him right from wrong. The Lord never asks more from us then we are able to give and he expects him to do right. It is not my responsibility for him to behave. His behavior is a direct result of his choices. Grant it he may not think of those consequences in the moment but nevertheless they are his choices. I guess this is why parents want to blame others, because as parents we feel the blame for our child's behavior. And rightly so in some instances, if the child has not been taught by example the right way to live, but then the responsibility has to turn over to the individual. The one who is old enough to make their own choices when they know what they are doing is wrong. Those elementary boys knew it was wrong to beat the older man and now their parents are trying to give them excuses for their behavior. Let them suffer the consequences for their behavior, after all it was their behavior and they knew it was wrong.

And so once again it just feels better to get it out and talk it through. Thanks for listening, or should I say reading.

Happy Birthday Sis

2007-04-10T06:05:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to say Happy Birthday Ann. My older sister is ?? today. Always there for me. I was so excited to have her in church with me Sunday night, even though it was to hear her granddaughter sing. I hope you have a very blessed day, Sis!

Have A Blessed Week

2007-04-09T06:02:00.000-06:00

The beginning of a new week which started with great services yesterday. It should be warming up this week and you are here to celebrate this wonderful time. Watch the spring flowers bloom and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. This is the "week" that the Lord has made, "let us" rejoice and be glad in it.

Happy Easter

2007-04-07T14:08:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful time of year. I hope everyone has a very wonderful Easter. Remember all that the Lord has done, why He came. I can't help remembering the stripes He bore on His back. Who am I that a King would live and die for? Who are any of us? But isn't it wonderful knowing the reason for life, knowing that we are His and He loves us. I hope many who do not attend church regularly will attend a service tomorrow and feel the presence of God. Make up their minds that God is the one who is worthy of all our praise and make a commitment to God. To attend church and worship the Lord. After all it is HIS day. Happy Easter. He rose again for YOU !

Peace in the Midst of the Storm

2007-04-05T12:04:00.000-06:00

Teenagers are gone for the weekend. YES!!! Holiday Youth Convention thank you. The boys are gone and peace and quiet is mine. Hope you all have as peaceful days as I plan on having for the next couple ones. :-)

I went to the doctor today and had my blood drawn. Had Avastin infused into me. I will call tomorrow and get my numbers to see if I continue the chemo pill at nighttime or start a new chemo drug. My doctor kept saying you look so good, you don't look like someone with this kind of disease. I told him I try my best to stay positive and I call on the Lord. He just shakes his head at me.

God is able.

Illinois Here we Come

2007-04-03T20:13:00.000-06:00

Illinois is in the near future. I got the itinerary today and Joseph and I will be flying out from Wichita Falls, to Dallas, to the Cancer Treatment Center of America. Keep me in your prayers. It will not be until the middle of the month, but everything is set. Thanks for all your prayers,

Happy Birthday to my Brother, George

2007-04-02T16:31:00.000-06:00

Well, my big brother had a birthday today. So I just have to say happy birthday big boy! I love you very much. Those of you who are my prayer buddies, say a prayer for my brother, George. He had shingles on his face and he has been in a lot of pain. He needs to have the Lord touch his eyes and his face. Ask that the Lord would take care of that and that George would know it is God and soften his heart up to the Lord. It is time for him to give his life to God.

Let me tell you about my big brother.

He was the one that stuck close by me growing up. If I had a problem with my older sister or other brother I just had to tell George, he took care of it. One time I was having a problem with some guys at school. I told my brother about it. The next time I was at school they parted the hall for me.

George hated school. Hated everything about it. He loves cars and trucks and took after our father and was a great mechanic for years. Then he began driving the big trucks. He loves his job. He has always been a faithful husband and supporter to his family. He is married to Joe's sister and they live in NY. Diane goes to church and their daughter and her family, but George never has. I don't understand why. He is a good man. But, then you have to think of Nicodemus. He was a good man also, but we all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Oh well, you understand me, I just want him to be saved. I want him to feel the joy of living for God. It is such a great life. Your only regret coming to God is that you didn't do it sooner.

I'm off of George, aren't I? Well, he is I believe 56 today. When we were young it was the two of us who ran away. We had a secret fort in the barn among the stacked hay. He quit school and worked hard when my father left. He bought Christmas presents that year. He came down for my Thanksgiving last year and I am looking forward to him coming down for Christmas this year. I may surprise him again this summer and go see him, or maybe he will come see me on one of my trips to Chicago.

Thanks everyone!
And happy birthday George!

Happy Birthday Joe

2007-04-01T13:41:00.000-06:00

I would just like to remember my husband on his birthday and wish he could hear me say, happy birthday. In memory of Joe:

I'll always remember you. My April Fool Baby!

Rain Go Away

2007-03-31T11:29:00.000-06:00

Well it has rained all week and the children have been restless. Children need to go outside.

Eighteen second graders who did not get to go out during recess at all nor for physical education were wild all week. And of course it was a near perfect attendance week.

Two teenagers who did not get to go out to shoot hoops nor mow lawns have driven me wild. I kept trying to tell them the more it rained the more lawns would need to be mowed and they have all week before HYC. (Holiday Youth Convention)

Praise God the weather is nice and the sun is shining. It is suppose to be nice and bright all week. Easter is coming, enjoy the time of everyone remembering our Lord.

the Answer

2007-03-28T15:10:00.000-06:00

They (Cancer Treatment Centers of America) called and said everything looks like a go. They are suppose to be sending me the paperwork. They said it will cost me $25.oo plus the hotel and that is all. Glory to God.

Please Pray for Direction

2007-03-27T15:26:00.000-06:00

Anyone who knows me well knows that I always pray for God to open up the doors to His will and to close those that are not.

Well, I talked with Cancer Treatments Centers of America today. I had read they are doing a second phase trial on a vaccine for ovarian cancer. From what I understand they take the tumor or a piece of it from your body and create a vaccine for you. They will do the trial this summer and you need to be a patient of theirs to be considered for the trial. So I asked what I needed to do for that. She is checking everything out (meaning my insurance company) and is suppose to get back with me in a few days.

So, pray Saints, pray for the Lord to open up the doors to His will and close those that are not. Of course if He opens the door to go I want it to work and He knows that.

They seemed very interested in me since I am the type of person they are trying to help. Someone who has had all different types of chemo and wanting to fight.

They pay flight expenses and all the cost of treatment for the trial. The only thing they do not cover is hotel expenses. The trial will be in Zion, Illinois and I don't know anyone in Illinois but I guess I could meet some people.

Thanks in advance for all your prayers, I know so many of you have been faithful since the beginning in praying for me. I even have little ones in our church who let me know they pray for me. I could never express the comfort that this gives me.

Shopping online is Great

2007-03-26T15:51:00.000-06:00

I have all three dresses now. Not that anyone other than me really cares, but this blogging has to be about something. I now have my wedding dress, rehearsal dinner dress and my Easter dress. And never had to go to a store. Isn't that great? Of course one of the dresses, in fact two of the dresses are not exactly the shade I was expecting, but oh well, I still look good in them. LOL All of you who know me that was a joke. LOL Have a great day all.

Update on Cancer

2007-03-24T10:30:00.000-06:00

Well, I am claiming everything is shrinking in Jesus Name. I had a pain that would not go away for a few days. I had a few people agree with me in Jesus Name and the pain is no longer there. Thank you Jesus. For those of you who know anything about anyone who has had cancer and had it progress on them, my bodily functions are working better, in fact normal today and that is a blessing. Sorry to be so blunt, but in all things give thanks, and I am thankful to the Lord for the many many times He has touched my body.

For those of you who don't know I have been battling an ovarian cancer recurrence since Jan. 05. Ovarian cancer is an ugly cancer, but it will not get the best of me.

Thanks once again for all your prayers. Thanks for the phone calls that come at times when I need them. Thanks for everything. I can not name all that friends and family have done for me.

the Joys of Parenting and trying to parent

2007-03-21T15:27:00.000-06:00

Since Jody wrote such a "sweet" blog about teenagers and my son wrote about spring it kind of leaves me with "Oh what should I blog about?" I have to blog about something, I don't want to get on the bad list. So this is a quick one so I can take a nap and make it to church "bright eyed and bushy tailed".

So they are teenagers, and I did not have them all their lives so I am trying to teach them things that should have been taught when they were very young. So why does it surprise me that on of the boys thinks I should make the other one play with him because he "should share". What about just wanting to be left alone?

And then the kids at school, who seem to have no parent at home teaching them right from wrong. There is a book out that is by the same author of "Why Johnny Can't Read". It is "Why Johnny Can't Tell Right from Wrong". We blame society and the things they hear at school. What about he responsibility of the parents? Why is it always the other person's fault? It seems society (if you want to blame someone other than the parents) is allowing excuses for everything. " He made me do it." I am so tired of children trying to blame others and not taking responsibility and parents who allow this type of behavior because so and so made their child upset. What will happen when the child goes to school and shoots the other children. Is it their fault because they made fun of him and didn't treat him right? Come on parents let's teach our children to take responsibility for their actions.

Ok I will get off my soap box for today. Have a great day all!

Nothing like it

2007-03-18T14:05:00.000-06:00

Nothing makes you feel better than seeing someone new come to God. The best is when they receive the Holy Ghost and get baptised in Jesus Name, but we don't always see that right away. This morning a man came to church that Joe had invited years ago. He recognized Joseph and went up to him. After Joseph introduced him to me I had to go to the nursery and cry a minute, but I got my act together real quick and came back out. I am sure he was touched by God's presence because I don't believe you can come to God's house and not feel his presence unless of course you don't want to. And for the life of me I can't understand anyone not wanting to feel His presence. Well I look forward to seeing him again.

These are the blessings of God that can not be bought. What a great pick me up to have someone that Joe had invited to church come. God is sooooooooooo good.

What a great spring break!

2007-03-16T16:04:00.000-06:00

It has been a great week. Didn't get done all that I wanted to , but then I knew that would happen. It has been beautiful outside. The weather has been very spring like, some days of rain and yet beautiful weather. It has gone up to 80 but has not felt that hot. We have had the windows open and the fans going. Hope everyone else is enjoying the weather.

In Dallas

2007-03-14T09:10:00.000-06:00

Here we are in, well not really Dallas, it has some strange name though. But it is part of the metroplex. We went to dinner (Papadeaux) with Jason and Julie last night and their Uncle and his family had come up from San Antonio. We had a great time. In fact it was their Aunt Cerice's birthday and we surprised her after dinner and had a little cake (Baskin Robbins) and fun at Julie's house.

She has a very nice home. She put the younger boys and me up for the night and Joseph went with his brother to where "he lives". To the contrary of what some believe Jason does not live with Julie yet. I know he is counting the days, but that day is not here yet. LOL

They are so much not in love all you see are pictures of them wherever you look. It's cute! We are going to meet Jason in Denton for lunch and then head on home. It was a quick visit, yet a very nice one. See most of my fellow bloggers in church tonight, Lord willing.

Have a great day.

From Beyond

2007-03-13T09:19:00.000-06:00

The boys and I cleaned out Joe's old van yesterday. I went through everything trying to determine what it was, was it worth keeping, and looking for the title. I still have not found the title. The boys put all the papers in a box. I came across an envelope. Joe always was buying cards for others. He would remember birthdays and such and then forget to send the cards out. Well, I figured that is what I had but when I opened it up I just started crying. It read:

For my wife,
the woman I cherish
I love you for being you...
for the friendship, affection,
and happiness you bring...
and I celebrate the
precious gift of your life.

a scripture was on the card:
"A woman who fears the Lord
is to be praised."
Proverbs 31:30

Jody was here and came running over to where I was and said what? Then she started crying and said, "Uncle Joe loved you so much". It was a time of tears and joy. I will keep the card forever.

Have a blessed day everyone! We are going to have dinner with Julie and Jason tonight. I use to hate to go to Dallas and never had any reason to go. Now it doesn't seem so far and it holds something very precious to my heart.

Spring Break

2007-03-12T17:09:00.000-06:00

Well it is here! Spring break and am I ever having spring fever. Wishing I could get so many things done. Of course that is what spring break is all about. You save so many things thinking you can get it done during spring break, and then spring break comes. The list is long and you don't know if you will ever get through it all. Yet if you accomplish items on the list, that is things that needed to be done and they are done. Make sense? Only to those of us who wait and then want to relax. How can you relax during spring break and still get so many things done? Good thing I won't be upset with myself if everything doesn't get done. I will just be thankful for the things that do get done.

Enjoy the beautiful weather outside. It is just gorgeous in northern Texas. I have the windows open and the fans on. Enjoying that fresh air. The grass needs cutting, (or should I say weeds) and the trees are budding. I opened my windows this morning to hear the birds singing. (I love birds singing)

Everyone have a great spring break! Or just have a wonderful day, week or hour. This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Who's Report Will You Believe

2007-03-09T18:41:00.000-06:00

I know you all are probably tired of this cancer stuff. Believe me, no more than I! Well when I came back from MD Anderson they were not very positive. Well I had my doctor's appointment here on Thursday. I cried all day. He was not very positive either, in fact he was more negative than the doctor from Houston. He just said a few negatives like I could go downhill really fast. Well, I was concerned about that. I have a wedding I plan on being a major part of in July. (Major part being mother of the groom) and I told him I had a wedding in July. He said he could not make any promises. Well, that was the pits. And then I found out the other patient he had that had ovarian cancer has died. Soooooo... God knows some times I become a doubting Thomas. As I told one of my boys, we have had many conversations about it. (God and I) I am trying to be as positive as I can. I am now taking a chemo pill everyday. We are trying to trick the cancer and come at it a different way.

Let's pray specifically about the tumor that is bothering my colon and bladder. This is the one that he says if it blocks things up will make me go downhill really fast. I asked about surgery and he said that may make me go downhill even faster. Well, I never liked going downhill except on a sled so let's just rebuke that ride. And of course I still want the complete miracle. I do remember (as my sons keep making me quote) that the Lord gave me the scripture "this sickness is not unto death, but to bring glory to God, that the son of man may be glorified thereby"

Thanks again for all your prayers. I am just trying to keep everyone informed. Have a good joke to tell me when you see me. God is good.

God, Family, and Friends

2007-03-06T19:32:00.000-06:00

You can face anything with God. Family and Friends make it easier also. This week has been one filled with the grace of God and family and friends by my side. Family feels the lose with you and friends help out in every way possible. I wonder what people do without these three.

God of course makes all the difference in a life. No matter what you go through, you know it has gone through God first. He is with you and He knows the outcome. Everything has a reason, we may not know the reason but we can trust in God. We know His word and that all things work together for good. We know that we can stand because He would not have allowed the trial if He didn't know we could handle it. God is good, all the time.

Family is there for you. Loves you no matter what and family not only extends from your biological family but to your church family. Those you love and those who love you. Those you pray for and those who pray for you. What do people do who alienate themselves from their families.

Friends, old and new are precious. As the old girl scout motto says, one is silver and the other's gold. Friends are like family, those you love and those who love you. Those you pray for and those who pray for you. And all a person has to do to have friends is show himself friendly. So many of my friends have helped me this past year over some very rough times and I am so thankful that the Lord has allowed me to have so many loving friends.

Joseph had said he prayed for me and wanted an encouraging angel to come and minister to me. Viola May said she wanted to be that angel. She is and so many more people are. Then I realized as I was encouraging someone else and she said, "I should be encouraging you and here you are encouraging me". That was an angel. We feel no better than when we can minister to others. It makes us forget our problems.

So, what am I trying to say? Just rambling. Just thankful. Those things which we can not buy or sell are the most precious.

Great Surprise

2007-03-04T23:19:00.000-06:00

What a great surprise, my sister came to church tonight. I was so happy to see her. Love you bunches, Ann!

My Forever Valentine

2007-03-04T08:53:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it has been a year since my Valentine went to be with the Lord. It does make heaven that much sweeter. Remember to smile as you think of Joe, that is what he would want. You can always visit at the memory page on the web.

Home Again

2007-03-03T21:55:00.000-06:00

I pulled in right at 9:00. I had a great time with friends in Shepherd, Texas and they are such a blessing to me when I have to go to MD Anderson. I want to thank everyone for their prayers. God hears and answers prayer. I know it will all work for good and God's will will be done. So I will see my precious church family in the morning, and all others, expect only good things.

Test Results

2007-03-02T19:11:00.000-06:00

Well, it wasn't good. What can I say. I will be coming home and will be starting something new. Everything has progressed and there are some side effects from some of the tumors pressing up against some organs. I am staying positive. God is still in control. Just pray that we (the doctor and I ) will make the right decision with the next choice. I want to be in God's perfect will.

Love you all and thanks for your prayers.

I'm in Sheperd

2007-03-01T13:33:00.000-06:00

Just to let you all know that I am in Sheperd at my Friend's house. Had all the tests run yesterday and will get the results in the morning. It is beautiful weather down here and having a good time. See you all Sunday or whenever.

Only through Prayer and Fasting

2007-02-26T07:07:00.000-06:00

Somethings come only through prayer and fasting. I am asking those of you who will to pray and fast for me on Tuesday. I will be leaving Tuesday to go to MD Anderson. I want a good report.

Please continue to pray for Jody's son Nathan. He is still in the Intensive Care Unit. He was suppose to be there for a few days. It has turned into a week. He has been having some reactions to the drugs they are giving him.

I know we talk about prayer a lot but that is because prayer is the thing we can do that works. We can not take away the sickness, the pain, the frustrations of others but we can pray for them and God will have His will in their lives and that is true peace.

Have a great day. I am off to work for one day this week. God bless.

Parent Talk

2007-02-24T14:22:00.000-06:00

I just got back from "Parent Talk" at church. It was a wonderful seminar of annointed teaching and sharing done by members of the church to encourage and help parents in bringing up their kids.

Joseph did an excellent job, but then some may say I am prejudiced. When I hear one of my children speak I am always so thankful. Joseph did a wonderful job and all I could do was think about how proud his Dad would have to tell him he was of him. Then I think of the comment that is usually made about your children not doing any better than you have in living for God. I beg to differ with this statement because it seems like our boys have just blown us away. They have such a firm grip on truth and what is important in their lives. I am just so thankful to God for allowing us to raise them in truth.

Bro. Andrew did an excellent job also. He taught on the internet and pitfalls for our kids. There are so many ways kids can get caught up in something they shouldn't. I remember reading my kids emails some when they first started getting online. This was the older boys. The boys now don't even get online unless I am right there. There is just too much trouble for them to get into, and until they show me they are responsible enough and making the right choices, then they will not have that freedom. They have not demonstrated that they can be trusted yet with this responsibility. And by all means keep the computers where you can monitor them. The statistics Bro. Andrew quoted were very, very scary!

Bro. Elms had fourteen rules for raising kids. They were his mother's. I had a few of them figured out before the seminar started, just maybe in different words. Every rule was great. Sis. Pauline Elms is still making a difference in helping mothers raise their children. She did such a wonderful job with her four.

Last, but not least, Sis. Elms interviewed Sis. Johnnie. I loved it. I loved it because I love Sis. Johnnie and she is a wonderful lady. Many times she has encouraged me in the raising of my younger boys. Something I need at times because sometimes it seems I am just on their case all the time. Then she has complimented them at times when they are doing well. She is an awesome lady.

Thanks to my church for continuing to help us to raise up a godly generation of children who love God and want to live for God.

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

2007-02-22T15:50:00.000-06:00

Don't read if you don't want to hear an old lady talk about her aches and pains. LOL

I have been running a low grade fever again. Feeling very lousy. Will be going to MD Anderson next week and sure hope they can help me out here. I still have no energy to do anything. I tried to take a nap when I got home from school yesterday so I could go to church last night. Took the nap and was still running a temp. and feeling just plain awful. So I stayed home and went to bed at 7:30. I should have been feeling better getting all that sleep. I did for a bit because I took some tylenol at 2 and some more at 7. But, I just got home and feel just as bad as yesterday. Just thought I would keep you all informed.

Nathan was to be moved to PCU today. Jody says he is trying to talk and has been able to swallow water. She is pleased with his progress.

My brother in NY has shingles all over his face. They are worried about his eyesight. So if you are saying a prayer for me or my family, please remember George. And they all need God. That's the most important thing.

July is coming, April even faster. Nathan is healing.

2007-02-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

ON the bright side. I ordered my mother of the groom dress. Now it looks beautiful on her, and I hope it will look half as good on me. LOL.

April, ugh, I still have not done my taxes. Too much to do.

Jody says Nathan is suppose to come off the ventilator and hopefully have a liquid diet this evening.

God is Good!!

All is Well

2007-02-19T21:16:00.000-06:00

I just got home after a very long day. I went to work this morning knowing my great nephew, Jody's oldest son, was going to have surgery. He has had pneumonia and they were talking about scar tissue the size of a fist and having to open up his rib cage. Well, Glory to God, they did not have to open up his rib cage. They went through the side and they were able to scrap the infection out and they did not have to take any of his lung. It was not scar tissue but an abscess. They were very pleased and he is now in ICU for a few days and the doctors said a 97% chance he will be completely back to normal in a few months. With my God, he will be back to normal in record time. The doctors will be amazed at how quickly he heals just as they were happy it was not as bad as they thought it was.

Thanks for all your prayers. You and I know it is God working and answering prayer. We may not know why but we do know that all things work together for good. Jody is a new convert and I believe she is seeing and trusting God working in her family's lives.

I am a survivor movie.

Family

2007-02-17T15:02:00.000-06:00

Jason and Julie are here for the weekend and it is so nice to have him "home". Of course I am excited that Julie is here also. They are at Target doing their registry today. We are cooking out and the "guys" are coming over for dinner. It is just wonderful to be surrounded by ones you love. As I was washing the potatoes for baked potatoes I did think of Joe. He loved being around family just as much, and a cook out was "his thing".

There are so many people that are sick. Jody's oldest boy, Nathan, is in the hospital. He has pneumonia. Our pastor has been very sick and I just want everyone to get well. Why can we not, or should I say why don't we just lay hands on everyone and everyone be healed? But then as I was typing that question I was reminded that even Jesus did not do certain things because of unbelief of others. So is it because we just don't believe He wants to heal everyone instantly, or do we just have to suffer to become who He wants us to be?

Questions, always questions. But just to let you know, I am blessed. God is good. I may not know what is in store for the future, but I do know who holds my future. I know God had the day that He would call Joe home already planned before we even would have thought he was going. I know God has everything else perfectly planned. All I want to do is see souls saved. I want my family to be saved, and of course I myself can not be lost, I mean will not be lost. :-)

You all have a very blessed day.

My Valentine Story

2007-02-14T21:57:00.000-06:00

The nurse from our school brought some flowers up to my room that had been delivered to the school for me. I said "I wonder who these are from". One young man spoke up, "They're from the nurse and she bought them at Wal-mart because I saw her there yesterday." I guess I didn't need to look at the card to see that they were from my son. It was funny, so a little laugh before the little tears for the flowers. Days of emotions, you gotta love em.

http://home.reservationrewards.com/

2007-02-13T20:49:00.000-06:00

I was so angry today. I was checking out my account at the bank and this website charged me $10.00 for signing up for their whatever. Well I don't remember ever seeing anything about reservation rewards and I called up the number. Of course I did not get to talk to a person but I was able to cancel the membership. Of course it would still be good until March. I was not happy. I kept pushing zero as I said I want to talk to a person. After about the fourth push I get a recording "If you would like to cancel your membership now and be reimbursed your $10.00 press one now". Well of course I pushed one and then it informed me I would be credited my ten dollars within three days and "it" hung up on me.

So my question was how many people are just glad to get out of it and let them keep the ten dollars? How many people take a few months before they realize they are being charged ten dollars? And how did they get the info to charge my account?

And that is why I check my account regularly and carefully.

He knows the Answers

2007-02-13T20:41:00.000-06:00

But I don't. Here I am contemplating not having chemo on Thursday. I am so tired and I really don't know if this chemo is working. I do know I still have blood in my urine and the doctors here don't know why and don't seem to worried about it. Well, anything new scares me. I try not to let it bother me, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it and want to know what the problem is. What would missing one chemo before going to MD Anderson mean? Would it really make much of a difference. I have prayed about it and really don't know what to do. Will you please pray that God will let me know and give me peace about my decision. I know you all have been so good about praying for me, and I am thankful for every prayer. I almost hate to write about this because it just seems like such a bummer all the time. Thanks for all your prayers.

Everyone have a Happy Valentine's Day. Treat your sweetheart special.

Check out my World Map

2007-02-11T17:30:00.000-06:00

Check way down at the bottom at my world map. I think that is so cool. I saw it on someone else's blog and had to have one myself. I emailed Christopher Hitchcock in Alaska and told him to check out my blog so I can have a spot in Alaska.

Just Sitting Around on a Saturday

2007-02-10T12:58:00.000-06:00

Just sitting around on another Saturday. Kind of cold out but nothing like what I hear they are getting in NY. I called my brother and he says it has been days in the single digits. Joe's sister called me and says her bones are cold. So I guess we really can't complain about our temps. Of course there is no one I know that is not looking forward to a day with temps above 60 degrees.

The teenagers are going nuts. Just so bored. Now they are watching Mark Lowry. They have already eaten more times than you can count and argued about more things than matter. We have so many videos I told them to find one. Well I come out of the room and what are they doing? Laying on the floor kicking and hitting each other.

Just another Saturday where it is to cold to kick them outside for some fresh air. I guess that is what I miss most about nice weather. At least they can go outside and get some fresh air and you get some peace and quiet.

Have a great day all. Oh let me add a pic for Brandon. I tried the slide show but that didn't work out to good.

Not a Kidney Infection, but What?

2007-02-08T15:36:00.000-06:00

I just got back from chemo. The doctor said he doesn't know what is causing my symptoms but it is not a kidney infection. Don't know what but just stay on the antibiotics until they are gone. OK. God knows. Just touch this body, one more time Jesus.

Chemo Day and YES Lord

2007-02-08T06:53:00.000-06:00

Off school, but it is chemo day. After today one more time before I go to MD Anderson. I have been feeling poorly and I thought maybe this chemo wasn't working very good until I found out I have a kidney infection. I have been running a low grade fever on and off for a few weeks, my lower back was aching, aching all over at times, and finally called the doctor because of other complications and found this out. So, I am on antibiotics and hope to feeling better shortly.

Thanks once again for all your prayers.

I had a guy at work tell me that if I don't believe God is going to heal me then He won't. How can I know the mind of God? I know God is able. It always seems to come back to this. Is it His will to heal me of cancer? Only He knows. I give all of myself to Him, to make me what He wants. I want to be able to win as many souls as possible, do some need to see this type of life live for God no matter what? I hate it when people put questions in my mind as to whether I am a doubting Thomas, or if I have the faith.

I know I have faith as a mustard seed. I have seen God do miraculous things over the years. He has done them for me, over and over again. Can He heal me, a resounding shout of YES. OK now I am reminded that He told me through His word that "this sickness is not unto death but to bring glory to God that the son of man may be glorified thereby". So do I believe He will heal me, YES. Or once again, God knows me better than I know myself and he accepted doubting Thomas and sometimes I doubt. But still I say YES. Lord forgive me if I have any unbelief and show these people who don't believe in you your miracle of healing what think is uncurable.

In Jesus Name

Beautiful Day Outside

2007-02-05T17:25:00.000-06:00

What a beautiful day outside. And I hear tomorrow is suppose to be better. I opened up my bible at work today and the devotional was one I read last week. "Teach me Lord what I need to know" "Show me Lord what to do". These are the two statements that I can just put in my life over and over again. And the great thing is He hears me each time and answers my prayer. Have a blessed day and evening all.

Eleven Months Ago

2007-02-04T14:02:00.000-06:00

Don't feel sorry for me, I can do that enough for myself, but do remember my husband today. It has been eleven months since he left me to be with the Lord. I wish he would have waited a few more years. I know that now he is where God wants him to be and having already made it I am sure he would not come back if he could. I remember all the nice things people said about what an encourager he was. I have tried to be more encouraging to others like he was but it just came so easy for him. I am one of those who thinks others will think I am just trying to be nice and really don't mean what I say. Of course I would never say it unless I meant it, and Joe always meant what he said when he gave his words of encouraging.

I know the boys miss their Dad. David really needs the attention that he use to give him. Time. As Bro. Elms spoke about giving time to your kids, Joe always gave time to his kids. To us, time was worth more than money. That is why Joe never worked out of town. Time watching and helping the kids grow up was worth more than whatever he was going to make working out of town.

I am thankful for the time we had together. I am thankful that he was ready to meet the Lord when he was called home. I know that I will see him again. Heaven grows sweeter every year.

I was reading in one of our magazines how songs have steered away from talking about heaven. I was reminded of the song that had words to the effect of nobody is talking about going home anymore. I love those songs and they have more meaning every year that I live for the Lord.

Eleven months ago heaven became sweeter.

Happy Birthday Joseph!

2007-02-02T22:04:00.000-06:00

Your birthday always reminds me of how we longed for you, how overjoyed we were when you were born, how your Dad thanked me for giving him a beautiful son. I hope this year will give you your heart's desires. No parent could be prouder than I am of my fine son. He is such a blessing. Just tonight he made me dinner over at his house. He has gone to MDAnderson with me and done so much in the absence of his father. He truely is a remarkable young man.

Numbers down 2 Points

2007-02-02T21:47:00.000-06:00

It's not a lot but it's better than going up. If only the numbers would go down as fast as they go up. Had my CA 125 taken yesterday and the results were: it is now 68. Was 70 four weeks ago, so it went down.

I have only two more treatments of this chemo before I return to MDAnderson and have a CT Scan and all to see if this chemo is doing anything to the tumors. So keep me in your prayers. I know you have and Thanks. Won't find out anything new until March 1st. The tests will be run on the 27th.

The doctor did up my dosage of this chemo so I am feeling a little ill, just took a pill and am going to bed. Sleep tight all!

What I learned at LCA

2007-01-31T16:50:00.000-06:00

First, LCA was Life Christian Academy. This was a private school we had at our church around 20 something years ago. I had the privilege of working there with our children. Hopefully they learned from the school as much, if not more, than I did. I learned:

Put God First. Easy to do in the Christian school, not as easy in a secular school. But…definitely the things to do in your life. It is the only way to live.

Consistency. Every day at the Christian school the teachers had a devotional time before beginning the day. Everyday Bro. Johnson had something to say with the word consistency in it. I have learned that consistency in all things works.

Every Child Can Succeed. Children are unique and God has plans for each one of them. Each one can be motivated you just have to find the key. You need to know your children so that you can find the key. Motivation can be in the form of bribery, verbal, or time spent doing something the child loves to do.

How to Discipline My Children (out of love not anger) My mother use to go nuts when she was mad at something we did. The school taught me if the child sinned to give them a lick with the paddle for each offense. Tell them how many they are getting and then send them to their room. Go in and pray with them and sometime later in the day make sure you touch them on the shoulder or hug them and let them know you love them.

Prayer First. Starting the day out with prayer really makes the day go better.
Fasting should be a way of life. We use to take a day a week to fast. It was so much better taking that one-day each week instead of doing it every now and then when you think you need to for something special.

Hiding the word of God in your heart is so valuable. There is nothing better to put in your brain then the word of God. All the scriptures that the students had to learn I had to learn. Or maybe I just learned from hearing them so much. But lessons like, to have friends you must show yourself friendly, and I can do all things through Christ, will ever be a part of me.

Thanks LCA, and thank you Lord for all the wonderful lessons you have taught me.

We Grew Old Together

2007-01-30T20:09:00.000-06:00

We grew old together. We grew up together. When I fell in love it was in high school. I married my high school sweetheart. We grew up and grew old together. Nobody knows you like a spouse you started dating at 16 years old. Someone you knew since you were 15.

I read somewhere that the lose of a child will more than likely split up a marriage, or in some cases bring you closer together. I guess there are only two ways to go with a marriage anyways. But I do know that if you are married and lose a child, no one knows how you feel when you lose your child. But you do know that the one you loved, the one who loved that child as much as you is feeling as much pain as you. You share your lose for the child you both loved. With time you understand that others have felt the same kind of pain, but you share this particular loss with your mate.

You age together, some gracefully, others not so gracefully. As you age together you stay the same age difference as you have at all times. You enjoy each stage of your life together. It was fun to be young together, it was fun to have young children together. It was wonderful watching the children grow up and become young adults that only you two can share the same pride in. No one can love these children more than you and your spouse. So where am I going with this, I don't even know. Just enjoy growing old with your spouse.

Rambling 'On

2007-01-28T21:31:00.000-06:00

Guess I was just way to serious for everyone with my last post. Or no one has any better ideas on what to do with this kid. But that's alright, he is in God's hands. I believe in miracles and it will be a miracle to see him as an adult living for God. And I do believe I will see this.

God gave us these two boys to raise. I say us because it is a family matter. God did not teach me to swim to have me drown and he did not give these boys to us to show them truth to have them lost. Even Jennifer has truth inside of her. She may be running from God, but she knows wherever she runs He is still there.

God is in control. Control of my health, control of my future. I received 50 days, which is the limit from my coworkers for sick days. That means I can take off 50 days before the end of the school year and still get paid. Of course I will only use them if I am sick or doing chemo. God is good.

Have a great week everyone. God bless.

Thankfulness

2007-01-27T10:46:00.000-06:00

I am thankful. Thankful for so many things that I could not list them all. I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful that God chose me. I am thankful for truth and living a life where God is number one. So the question I pose to my cyber friends is how do you teach thankfulness? I am at my wits end trying to get it across to one of my teenagers. Let me tell the story. If any of you other teenagers read this he will never know about this unless you tell him. So whatever, it would just be one more thing that he can get aggravated with me for.

First I bought him some tennis shoes for school. I bought them at Wal-mart. Big mistake. He would not wear them. Refused to wear them. I finally gave them to my nephew, who has appreciated them and wears them. My son has worn his old ones rather then wear a non-name brand. Well guess what, they are falling apart. He needs tennis shoes. Well, I went to Wal-mart and got the cheapest ones I could because he might not wear these either. Why waste my money. He told me I could go and get name brand ones at Payless for $20. Now it is the matter of name brands. I refuse to buy name brand. Some things are worth it, and some are not.

While at the store today, he goes into the other son's room and helps himself to his basketball. Why? because he left his outside after being told repeatly not to and it was stolen. So I tell him he owes him an apology for going in his room, that hasn't happened. And where is the basketball that he took from his brother's room? You guessed it, outside. He left it outside. And I am the mean one.

He goes to school and gets in trouble for telling the teacher he doesn't want to do that job, he wants a different one. What? And he wonders why the teacher is upset.

He wants to get a license and wants me to go online and help him get it. He thinks you can go online and get it for $25 and then I can teach him. NOT ME! I know my limitations and teaching a teenager to drive is way past them. Sorry you will have to go through driver's ed. just like the older ones.

So what is an old mother to do? I think the boys learned about being thankful when we went to do Street RAGE on the other side of town. They saw the way others lived. Now these boys came from some bad situations, so why does one expect everything and not want to accept what you want to give. I have tried to tell him it just makes it that much harder for me to want to give.

Ok, Ok, I will try and put this behind me. But really if you have any suggestions that might work I am open to them.

TGIF

2007-01-26T15:56:00.000-06:00

Yes, thank God it's Friday. I know people say you are wishing your life away when you wish it was Friday or whenever, but...Thank God it's Friday! Just got home from school. I need to share what I learned from one of my kids today.

If I get a Chihuahua it will take away my cancer. Chihuahuas heal cancer. This little eight year old told me this because his mother "use to be a doctor, she works for the city now". Soooo... I really don't want any more dogs, I'll just trust in God.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Blogging for Kids

2007-01-25T20:40:00.000-06:00

I was reading an educational magazine today that was talking about blogging for children. I thought that would be neat as long as we could read posts before posting them. The kids would read more and write more. (and maybe we could open up blogs through the firewall)

Whatcha think?

Grade Book Online

2007-01-24T17:27:00.000-06:00

I love it as a parent and hate it as a teacher.

As a parent I get to sit at my computer, at home or at school and look up my children's grades. I can click on the grade and see what made that grade. This has really cut down on the zeroes one of my sons was getting for not turning in work. In fact he hasn't had a zero in the gradebook in the last two six week marking periods. And so far so good for one of them this six weeks. The other has all kind of excuses that I will let go by for a week and see if he has corrected the problem before I send an email to anyone.

As a teacher I have to make sure all my grades are updated for the progress reports that go out. Of course then you have Mrs. Concerned Mother calling about Johnny's grade because he has 75 and he had a 90 last marking period. Well we have six more weeks to go and a lot of grades. I am sure Johnny will bring it up. How come there are only a few grades for this three weeks? and so on and so forth. You have to make sure your parents understand your grading system. Like if homework is not turned in I just take off 10 points from the work that was done in class. So they may have seen an 83 on the paper but when they look online it is a 73. The joys of teaching.

But all in all I love the grades being online for me to look at anytime for my kids. Of course I don't understand why the high school teachers don't have the grades up every week like we have to.

If you are a parent of a child in the WFISD school district you really need to ask about getting an account to check your child's grades online. You will love it. (and it will keep your teacher on her toes)

Now as a teacher, ask the teacher before blaming her for trying to make your child fail. Believe me, no teacher wants to make a child fail.

Grade book online has an A+ from me.

Snow Memories

2007-01-23T17:22:00.000-06:00

I remember the year that it snowed so hard my mother tied a rope to my brother and then to the house so he could cross the driveway. Across the driveway was the hay barn that also housed a horse, that needed to be fed. You couldn't even see across the driveway. The rope stay tied to the barn door for a few days. The snow covered the cars and the tractor that year. The only thing you could see from the car was the antenna and the only thing on the tractor was the pipe. We were off school for a week. The snow plow came down the street and had to keep backing up and plowing or pushing. Then it would stop and back up and push some more snow out of the way. When the snowing finally stopped we were able to go play outside. I am sure my mother kicked us all out. We dug out the tractor seat and sat in it, and made forts galore. You were never suppose to make forts in drifts but what else would you do. We made forts out of blocks of snow and had snowball fights.

Snow was so much fun as a child. The man down the street always made a makeshift ice rink. I began ice skating with a pair of skates that had two runners on the bottom. You would have to stop every now and then to clean out the runners. We called them gutters. I have a nice scar above one knee from falling as a teenager. The end of the skate went through all the layers of clothes and into the skin. Still ice skating was so much fun.

Toboganning. When I first came to Texas I heard a man ask where the tobogans were in the store. I was thinking what is he asking for one of those for there is not enough snow for toboganning. Well, it was for his head. Another story all together. Joe and I went toboganning on a date. We were in love but not married yet. He was on the front of a long tobogan and his brothers were behind him. The first one has his legs folded under the front of the tobogan and the rest had their legs around the person in front of them. As they sped down the hill they headed straight for a concrete wall. The brothers started piling out. Now in Joe's defense it is hard to see when all the snow is flying in your face so the next thing you know Joe is laying on the ground next to concrete wall and the tobogan is broken. My bad sense of humor kicked in and I could not stop laughing. Joe was so mad at me. He was saying how can you say you love me and laugh at me, I'm hurt. Oh well, he got use to it over all our years together.

The last memory was the reality of the weather in NY. Our car would not start and Joe brought in the spark plugs and put them in the over on warm. After a few minutes he took them back out to the car and put them in and then the car started. The next winter we were in Texas.

I love getting just enough snow to make a snowman about once a year. Stay warm all my northern friends, it was up to 50 today and felt great.

Sitting at Home

2007-01-22T11:49:00.000-06:00

Here I am sitting at home. Was running a fever last night and early today. Seem to be doing a little better. Still aching all over. But no one really wants to hear that. I need to get dressed but don't feel like that. Been living off of Tylenol.

My brother came over to do some maintenance that is long over due. David had jumped on the garage door and broke it. The pool was backwashed the other day and still leaking out. The hinge on the back gate is broken. Look at all the things that go to pot when your husband is not here to fix them right up. He got the pool stopped from leaking and we need to get parts for the rest sooooooo hopefully everything will be fixed soon. Enough gripping.

Had a wonderful service Sunday morning. Missed Sunday evening with the elevated temp, feeling sick, and aching. Hope everything will be back to normal for tomorrow. This week is my week off of chemo and I was looking forward to having a feel good week.

God is still in control and He is so good to me. Jody said one of her boys says she was becoming more like her Aunt Barbara. I hope that was a compliment. I know it wasn't meant to be, but I would take it to mean that God is making a difference in her life. Glory to God.

Joe's father asked to go to church yesterday. The first in over 30 years. He is 78 years old and having a lot of health problems. We are all praying that he will get his life right with God before He calls him home.

Love the Weekends!

2007-01-20T19:36:00.000-06:00

Not that I hate my job. I love my job, but I love weekends.

Jason came up from Dallas to visit. It was great to see him. Joseph came over also and I just love having my "boys" around. Jason and I played cards and he cooked breakfast this morning. His father use to always cook breakfast on Saturdays. Then Jody came over to hook up my high speed internet, Thanks Jody. You are the greatest. So now I am going to get spoiled and be able to put more pictures up and all that. I hope you all will enjoy it.

And of course Sunday is the Lord's day. My day of rest. I go to church, go out to eat, come home and take a nap. Wake up and go back to church. Sometimes we go out after church and sometimes we just come home, Either way it is a day of rest and refreshing. Since we missed last week because of the weather I can't wait for tomorrow. I hope everyone has a very restful weekend

Like Him

2007-01-18T19:17:00.000-06:00

"Oh, make me what You want, dear Lord, a vessel You can use!"

I prayed with heart sincere and true-His will is all I choose.

I did not know the tools it took to mold me to His will

but as He worked, I tried to be obedient, calm and still.

It wasn't easy when I felt the chisel sharp and rough

Chip off the refuse from my heart- I cried, "Lord, that's enough!"

And then I felt the wheels go round to turn this pot of clay

In dizziness I cried, "O Lord! I can't stand this today!

Some other time perhaps I'll yield and let You work in me,

The chisel and the wheel are more than I can bear, You see!"

And then I heard His whisper sweet: "My all sufficient grace

Is yours each moment of the day until you see My face.

I never give you more, My child, then you can ably bear.Though harsh it seems and rough to you, My strength is always there! So if you want my will My child, and like Me want to be,

You'll have to yield to chisel sharp, to wheels that shapen thee.

you'll have to feel the furnace hot that tests you to behold

The vessel that I want of you-a thing of purest gold!"

And so my yielding heart cries out, "Yes, Lord, make me like Thee!

No matter what it takes, dear Lord, just work Thy work in me;

Make me a vessel pure and clear and likened to Thy Son,

That all the world may see and know Your work in me You've done!"

by Willa Mae Whitney

Creature of Habit

2007-01-17T16:59:00.000-06:00

I am not a monkey do. I am a creature of habit. Sitting in the same place at church. Eating at the same place of business for over 10 years every Sunday afternoon. Loving the same color and using it in my house, on my blog, and wearing it. (I'll let you figure out what that color is) When I take classes, go to seminars, I tend to sit in the same location in the room. So at least I am not a monkey.

Brandon is 16

2007-01-16T21:21:00.000-06:00

Brandon turned 16 today. He's the blonde. It was just six years ago that I picked him up at the Children's home to bring him to the house for his 10th birthday party. It was just family and friends and we knew he would be moving in very soon. It was the next weekend to be exact. He loves pizza and had asked for pizza,

in fact he wanted his own pepperoni pizza. Well, I got him one then and got him one today. He wanted just family for his birthday and that is what we did. Aunt, Uncles, and lost of cousins came over and I brought home six pizzas. Brandon had his own but only ate half of it. He did better when he was ten. LOL. Happy birthday Son. How you have grown.

Looks like School on Time

2007-01-16T06:44:00.000-06:00

I got up to check the computer to see if school is delayed and it looks like school on time. So everyone stay warm today and enjoy your peace and quiet. We will be locked up in the school with all the kids, it will be too cold to go outside for any kind of recess. They will be "excited" after a three day weekend.

Cancers Myths and Reality

2007-01-15T10:19:00.000-06:00

I thought I would give you all a little cancer true/false test. I was looking on the internet about plastics in microwaves, which the plastic industry says is just a myth and there is not enough toxins to hurt anyone, just a mouse. Soooo... we will just leave that one out. So take a quiz and see how you do. I learned something:

1. What someone does as a young adult has little impact on their chances of getting cancer later in life. (true or false)

2. There is currently a cure for cancer, but the medical industry won't tell the public about it because they make too much money treating cancer patients. (true or false)

3. Electronic devices, like cell phones, can cause cancer in the people who use them. (true or false)

4. Regularly eating meat cooked on a charcoal grill will increase cancer risk. (true or false)

5. The risk of dying from cancer in the US is increasing. (true or false)

---------------------------------------------------

The answers are:

1. True
2. False
3. True (Some scientific studies show a link, can not be dismissed as false. )
4. True
5. False

1. Is true because young people make choices that do effect the rest of their lives. Like smoking. Bro. Elms preached one time about this, yet young people do think nothing can happen to them. They are so young. Well, think again young people.

2. There are even books that claim they have cures for cancer. I do believe that if they had the all out cure we would know it. Something like that could not be kept a secret for long.

3. Interesting. This is the one I learned and it talked about certain brain tumors. Kind of scary.

4. And I love a good steak cooked outside, or a pork chop, or a chicken, or a hamburger, or....oh well you get the picture. And the more cooked the worse it is.

5. Thank God for this one, cancer is becoming more curable each year. The numbers are more because there are more people, but not a bigger percentage.

Hope you all learned something. And if you want to check it out yourself: Cancer Myths

and girls don't be afraid to read about the symptons of ovarian cancer.
or......
frequent urge to urinate
wieght loss
lower back pain
adbominal swelling or bloating
plevic pain

soooo.... probably more information than you want to know, but something to put in the back of your brain. Ladies, if you have any of these problems and go to the doctors and they find nothing. Have them do a simple CA125 blood test. Although this is not a 100% for sure indicator, it could save a life.

Freezing Cold Outside, Had to Adapt

2007-01-14T12:32:00.000-06:00

It is cold outside. Church was cancelled because of the weather so we are stuck inside one more day. The boys and I got around the computer and watched and listened to church from Louisiana and then I cooked "Hunans".

It wasn't as good but I was just trying to make memories. I cooked some pizza and chicken fajita rolls. (instead of egg rolls) I also heated up some honey barbque wings instead of Hunan's chicken wings. They seemed to devour it with the same gusto they devour Hunan's every Sunday. Then for dessert they had gingerbread with cream cheese icing instead of cheesecake. It was the best I could do with what we had. LOL It was fun.

I did get to bake 24 cookies and do three loads of wash on a Sunday morning which I never get to do. If I at home on a Sunday I am too sick to do anything. So, this was a switch.

Once again I might try to get my high speed hooked up. We'll see. I have to read up on it and then see what I can do.

Stay warm friends. Put those fuzzy slippers on.

Frustrated

2007-01-13T13:35:00.000-06:00

How frustrating. I tried blogging the pictures first through this post, that didn't work. I tried updating my flickr badge because that was messed up, now I don't have anything there. And now I have one picture with no captions. I am giving up for now. Check back later and maybe I will have straightened out this mess.

(no subject)

2007-01-13T13:32:00.001-06:00

Pic from Vacation

(David and Brandon)
Originally uploaded by bouellette.geo.

Vacation

2007-01-13T10:17:00.000-06:00

Here it is Saturday and the ice is covering the outside. I thought I would take this time to show some pics of our trip around Texas at the end of the year. We had a wonderful time for those of you who never missed us. LOL We went to MD Anderson and went to Galveston between doctor's visits.

Then we shot over to San Antonio to visit the in-laws. We went out to dinner at the Alamo Cafe which is really neat. Very resonably priced and has different rooms from different places in Texas. When you walk it, it looks like you are outside. The next day they cooked for us. Joseph helped. We had shrimp, sausage, potatoes, and corn on the cob cooked over a fryer but with water and some kind of Louisiana seasoning.

Next we went to Bro. Gene's and Sis. Karla's for service. It was awesome. The presence of God in that small place could have moved the walls over. We had service with them, I testified even though I didn't have to. (dont' ask) and then we went to Panda Express. I know I have already told you all this but I thought it would be better with pics.

Well I am not seeing the pics here yet, but let's hope they make it to the blog. Have a great day.

Okay, so I am having a hard time getting this pics online, bear with me. I may need to hook up this high speed internet stuff I got in the mail a week ago.

I am Blessed

2007-01-11T15:49:00.000-06:00

I am blessed in the Lord. I just feel like I attend the best church anywhere. I also know that most of you feel the same way about your church so maybe I should say I serve the best God anywhere. Because it is God that is in our churches and it is God who makes the service what it is. At least I hope He does at your church. ;-)

God always gives me just what I need. As service started last night I just started crying. I couldn’t seem to stop crying. I was just tired. I was telling God I was just tired. I figured out a while ago it is okay to tell Him things like that because He already knows. I feel bad because people notice and sometimes I think they are feeling sorry for me. Please don’t feel sorry for me. Sometimes I feel like I need to get control of myself and not cry, but then will I get what I need from God?

Then Bro. Orange came and delivered the message. It was wonderful. Of course if you heard the message I am sure you would have heard something different, so you can go listen to it at our church’s website. But, God had just confirmed that no matter where I am He is with me, I am in His will, and He will see me through to the end. I stand on His promise that He gave me at the beginning of this trial. “This sickness is not unto death.” I am reassured every time I get down that He will see me through. Even though I do not get the promise when I want it, the promise is still mine and it is from God. He cannot lie.

Kids without Parenting Skills

2007-01-09T15:52:00.000-06:00

OK, I am on my soapbox. Now I know why most of our parents don't have parenting skills. Because they were kids when they became parents. I had a child say today that his/her mom was going to be 24 tomorrow. Well he/she just turned 9 a few months back. I said, "Didn't you just have a birthday?" He/She said, " Yes I'm 9 my mom was 14 when she had me. So another student speaks up. My mom was 14 when she had my brother/sister. And then another, My mom was 15 when she had me. Well no wonder they don't have any parenting skills. They were kids when they became parents and never had their teenage years. Of course our great country is doing it's best and we now give parenting classes for parents of students. But as you guessed it those that need it don't show up. They don't even know they need it. I remember conferencing with one of these parents and after I had made a suggestion for a consequence the question was can I do that? And where were the parents of these teenagers? Not using their parenting skills. I know some will sneak around and you can't help that, but don't we know where our young teenagers are and who they are with? Ok, I will stop. Don't even get me started on all the kids in my classroom that are being raised by Grandparents because the parents just don't want to be a parent or take responsibility. Of course that leaves me with the two that I am raising because one just didn't want to mess with them anymore and dropped them off at the children's home and refused to take them. I always thought a parent's love was just there and responsibility, well I didn't know it needed to be taught to our children that children are a responsibility.

You (I) Can Make a Difference

2007-01-07T15:09:00.000-06:00

I have thought and thought on what Bro. Elms preached the other night. I thought about the book I read to my second graders titled "Making a Difference". This book is about conservation and I read it to the students and then we make a class book. How we can make a difference. Well I started thinking along the spiritual realm and making a difference in God's kingdom. Then I thought of the "roll it forward". Whatever that means in my mixed up brain. Sooooo........ Bro. Gene you have made a difference in my life. I watched you living for the Lord as a teenager and then as a young adult and now. Well it made a difference in the way I brought up my boys and my expectations for them. Joseph James, you made a difference in my life. You gave me a reason to live and a reason to live right. You made it a joy to get up in the morning and made life so worth while. And of course Jesus, you made everything right in my life. You are there all the time and I just don't know where I would be without you. And sooooo.... I want to make a difference this year. I want to bring some more children or adults to church. I want to share more of what Jesus has done for me and what he can do for others. I want to be an encourager like my husband was. He always had something good to say to someone. So for whatever it is worth, I am making a difference and you do to. As we teach our children all our actions have consequences. Good and bad sooooo we can make differences, good and bad. I sure don't want to be bad.

Christmas is put away, and Jason is gone.

2007-01-06T13:08:00.000-06:00

What a day. The younger boys and I have put all the Christmas decorations away and Jason came by this morning to say goodbye. It is a sad day. I know he will come back often, but it is just not the same. I am glad he is getting on with his life, but..... Oh well. I went to chemo on Thursday and had my CA125 test. This is my cancer marker numbers. It is suppose to be under 30. Well it sure rises fast and does not go down as fast. In fact it seems to take forever to go down. I was so depressed because I was waiting for my miracle. Everytime I go to MD Anderson I want them to confirm that God has taken the cancer away. Well, that didn't happen. And my CA 125 went from 45 last week to 70 this week. I sure don't understand but I am still trusting in God. Not feeling very good isn't making it any easier.

Five Things You Probably Already Know About Me

2007-01-04T07:59:00.000-06:00

Thanks Carla. I will try and give you some unneeded, worthless information about myself. Here goes:

My brother and I use to ride our bikes in the middle of winter in NY. How? My parents rented the farmhouse on a milk farm. When the cows were out we could ride our bikes up and down the barn. Nice long barn with an open area down the middle.
In high school I was one of those "at risk" kids. My parents were divorced and I did not apply myself to my studies. I took regular classes instead of college prep. I graduated with a hairdressers license for NY state. My vice principal would be shocked to know that I teach at a recognized school in the state of Texas.
The first time I met Joe I didn't like him. He was too forward and under the influence of alcohol. He kept coming over to my house while our parents played cards and was sober and we talked, for hours. It took a little bit of time for him to win me over but not too long. He always was very attentive to me. We met when I was 15, started dating at 16, married at 17, almost 18 and stayed married for 32 years. He kept his vow and we stay married till death did we part.
We lived in Key Largo, Florida for about 7 months. We lost our daughter there to SIDS and we moved to Texas. We have been here since 1976. Can't stand Florida to this day.
I started to write I am the only one in my extended biological family filled with the Holy Ghost, but Praise be to God, my niece was filled with the Holy Ghost and baptised in Jesus' Name last year. I have loved living for God since 1980. God is good.

And now it is time for someone else. I will tag my sister-in-law in NY, Margaret, and who else has not been picked.(thinking..........) My first daughter-in-law and only one right now, Kim, and I guess that is it. Love you all and think back, way back.

Back to Normal...

2007-01-03T18:45:00.000-06:00

as we know it. The kids came back all excited about what they got for Christmas. For those of you who don't know I teach 18 little eight year olds. They may be a little younger or a little older than the exact age but that is the average for a second grade classroom. And 18, yes 18, in a room built to teach no more than 15. Oh well, some would say it is cozy. LOL I have been reading and reading and convincing myself to be upbeat. I have been reading some of Joy Haney's books. They are great, very uplifting and positive. Of course the bible has been part of my reading material and it has only positive things to say to me. So I am not to worry about the doctor's report and I am trusting in God. Trusting in God, Trusting in God, just say it over and over again. I am doing my best and thank God He knows it. He knows how I feel so there is no use in pretending I don't feel sad at times. No need to let the miserable world see that though. But....I am rambling. Sorry. I am trying to keep this blog updated. Don't want you to get bored seeing the same thing over and over again. Chemo tomorrow so keep me in your prayers.

We're Home!

2007-01-01T01:41:00.000-06:00

What a trip. I have spent way too many hours in the van. It was a nice, short vacation. We went to MD Andersons for the doctor and Thursday we went to Galveston with our friends. It was very cool with the waves and the wind. I really enjoyed the site seeing we did.

Next we went to San Antonio. Joe's brother has built a new theater room in his house so we watched a movie each evening with them. We had a nice visit. The boys went to the flea market and then we all went bowling.

Last, but not least we left early Sunday morning to make it to church in Pflugerville. What an awesome service we had with Bro. and Sis. Holley. We went to their new Chinese eating place with them and went by to see their new home. It was great to see them and sad to leave them, yet God has them right where He is using them to further His kingdom.

And Home, there is no place like home. I took a short nap before going to watch night service. Bro. Elms did great and then we went to the fellowship hall for breakfast. Now it is time for bed.

Check out my pics to the right. You might find a picture of someone you know, or maybe even yourself. :-)

Everyone, HAVE A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!
2007 "I Can" and let's watch the Holley's Great Adventure.

Here we are in San Antonio

2006-12-30T15:26:00.003-06:00

Here we are in San Antonio. We made it through all the rain on the way here. Now the doctor's report. Everyting has progressed. One tumor has grown from 3.7 to 11cm. But I am still trusting in God and waiting for Him to show them. They want me to go back in two months. Soooo the roller coaster is in motion and I am not going to let it get me feeling bad. I am going to believe the report of the Lord when He led me to the scripture that "this sickness is not unto death, but the bring glory to God that the son of God may be glorified thereby." I was also thinking before getting the results and since then that "His grace is sufficient". I have been reading the book of Daniel and I will be like the three Hebrew men who said "I know my God is able to deliver me, but if not.... I am still going to serve him."

That's all for now folks.

Love you all and thanks for all your prayers.

Waiting to get out of town!

2006-12-26T07:38:00.000-06:00

Well here I am waiting to get out of town. Had my van checked over last week for the trip out of town. Wish I had never taken it in. I got it back Thursday night. I didn't use it Friday and Saturday late I went to the store. The engine light came on coming home from the store. I looked under the hood and checked the belt to see if it was turning. (They had put a new one on) I called the van place and they said I would have to wait until the day after Christmas because they were closing. I heard a little whistle and my brother from NY said that I must have a leak in one of my exhaust whatevers and to have them check that out. Then I took the van to church on Sunday since they couldn't look at it till Tuesday. On the way home my breaks seemed really low. I stopped at a stop sign and pumped them. (Isn't this suppose to bring them up some?) Well it didn't, in fact it brought forth a strong burning odor. Needless to say I was very upset and did not drive and futher. I went home and didn't even go out to eat. I took it this morning to the place that did the work on it. On the way there while going 35 miles an hour it lurched and acted like I had just taken my foot completely off the gas. Which I hadn't. I prayed the rest of the way there going 25 mph. I was reading Sis. Haney's book in the parking lot while I was waiting for the place to open. Of course the book is talking about patience and trusting in God, not saying anything wrong when you want to say something. Being a saint of God. Things like that so I am very nice when I go in. I even say I am trying very hard to be very nice because I am not very happy. I have to get out of town and my van is worse than when I brought it in here last week. Sooooooo... here I am printing up a few mapquests and checking out the blogs. Need to finish packing and waiting on the van people to call me. In Jesus' Name it is all going to work out and we'll get there sometime tonight. Hopefully we will be able to hook up tonight at the hotel. Hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. We did with friends and family.

Christmas Day

2006-12-25T14:21:00.000-06:00

Well is it over yet? I awoke to the sound of the phone, not reindeer.

My sister was calling to say she would be over even earlier than she had said last evening. We looked for the gravy mix and of course couldn't find it. Even though a second look found it right where it was suppose to be.

My sister arrived before the older boys. First the Christmas story, then prayer, they got to see how we start the day. Then they got to view all the wrapping paper flying through the air. Next we all had breakfast. My niece and her family came over, ate, and they opened their gifts.

It took a bit to get both the ipods working. There wasn't a lot of tears all morning so everything went pretty good.

Now all the food is in the crockpots for the second round of food. I hope everyone is having a blessed day. Off to Houston tomorrow and waiting for the good news.
And if not I will repeat to myself what I told Sis. Shahan, "Whose report will we believe?"

We are in the hands of the Lord and He is in control.

Busy, busy, busy

2006-12-24T09:02:00.000-06:00

off and running. Church this morning and getting ready for Christmas. Have to get the cookies and pies done. Thought I would do a brisket and just slice it and put it in bar-b-que sauce for tomorrow. Need to make the salad. Oh well, that is what happens when you are a procastinator. No turkey this year. Sandwiches and stuff in crockpots. That way if anyone comes by we can offer them everything. Stop by and see what is left or stop early and get while the getting is good.

Read about an ovarian cancer miracle......Don't Take the Repeats: On the subject of miracles

New Drug is Navelbine

2006-12-21T10:57:00.000-06:00

The new drug the doctors have ordered is Navelbine. If anyone out there has taken this type of chemo with Avastin, let me know what to expect. I really don't want to lose my hair again. The doctors have agreed I will continue this chemo until we find out if it is working or not. If not we will go to the abraxane that the insurance company has finally okayed.

The last post was to let you think of Christmas past. Let me know your favorite memory from a Christmas past. Christmas is such a happy time of the year.

Have a great day everyone, in Jesus' Name.

Memories of Christmas Past

2006-12-20T10:45:00.000-06:00

As Christmas comes it always seems to have you reflecting on the past. You remember as a child and certain memories. The time I got the bike that my brother bought me when he was just 14. He had bailed hay that year and spent most of his hard earned money on my brother and I. The time I lost a pin my other brother had bought me. We think it went out with all the wrapping paper on the floor. Next my stepfather loved Christmas and there were toys and toys and more toys. The time our family had the foster boys and I was a teenager, the living room was half full of gifts. Then when I got married. Joe was from a large family so he was not use to the amount of gifts my family gave. He became a little child again. He loved Christmas and quickly came to celebrate it as my family had for years. It took a few years for him to learn a few lessons. Like: I want several presents, not just one or two. And I do not want things for the house, I want personal items. (Now if I ask for a specific thing for the house that will make my life easier that is okay). And last but not least, you do not have to spend a lot of money to make me happy. It is the thought behind the gift that matters. We always went to my Mom's after the boys had opened their gifts. We had breakfast and met with my sibling's families to exchange gifts. Then we came home and had an open house with buffet type foods. Friends and family would stop by at their leisure. Joe would make sure we remembered Jesus for a moment before the boys dug in under the tree. We filled half the living room when the foster kids came. And now..... well let me just keep remembering Christmas' Past.

God is Awesome

2006-12-18T11:58:00.000-06:00

I tried to steal a picture from Echoes from the Elms but it didn't work. But...church was so great last night. As I posted on the Elms site I was so looking forward to the visit from Sis. Nona Freeman.

One of the first books I read after going to church was one of hers. It was such a faith builder. I am looking forward to reading her latest book, Everything is going to be Okay.

Well, I was not disappointed by her visit. God used her in a mighty way. It's just so impressive how God uses this elderly lady to continue to minister for Him. I am believing in my complete healing and waiting for MD Anderson to confirm it. I will be going down there after Christmas and will be waiting for them to become very confused. Not only am I believing the cancer to be gone, but the gall stones and the hernia. Things the doctors have not worried about but have been somewhat of a problem. (Not so much as cancer, but....)

Anyways, God is awesome and I thank Him for the work He is doing in my life. I would love to carry on the cross of building other's faith as Sis. Freeman has all these years. To God be the glory!

2006-12-16T16:45:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas! And those of you who know me, know that I have a pillsbury doughboy kitchen. So for this Christmas I thought I would share with you my doughboy tree. If you click on the picture it got soooo big on my screen you could clearly see the doughboys. Some of them I made with Crayola magic clay. Some I ordered off of EBay. Anyway have a very merry Christmas.

Thanks for the Prayers

2006-12-16T12:36:00.000-06:00

Thanks for all your prayers! Friday I got a sharp pain and then I stopped to think it was the first time I felt that pain that day. I was not in pain almost constantly, like I had been for the past few weeks. I know God is still touching and working and I guess He just needed to remind me. School is out for the holidays and I am now looking at getting everything done that I have put off for this time. Isn't it something how we end up saving so much that we might not even get all that done? Teachers know what I am talking about though. Have a blessed day everyone and thanks again for your prayers. Don't stop now!